Know ThySelf

A dear friend said to me recently – Know ThySelf.  It was one of those moments where I felt that I was looking at my mirror self.  This very concept had recently become the embodiment of my journey.  In bonding with this friend of eighteen years, we pondered the higher things of life.  I shared my ongoing struggle for the past eight years regarding my spirituality and my quest to understand – what is it that I believe when it comes to God?  Most recently, I had simply come to accept that it no longer mattered.

I shared how, when it came to this past quest, I was often left with an underlying frustration no matter where I tried to fit in.  I had tried several ways, several communities, several religions, several schools of thought, or what have you – but they all lead back to me.  I’d tried to blend in to enjoy corporate worship and to find a manner in which to offer my gifts, and to be of service.  But like the questions that haunted Neo Anderson, specifically – What is the Matrix? – My own questions remained silently in my mind regardless of membership affiliation.  The questions had been with me for years but like anyone who wants to fit in, I kept the voices at bay. 

How could I contain God into a way, a structure, a thought, or ministry?  Isn’t God infinite, omnipotent, omnipresent, and omniscient?  If He would not contain himself, why would I?  If I am made in His image, why would I contain myself?   In my attempts to connect with others on a deeper level, no matter how progressive the community, I felt loneliness as I faced clones of a common thought; and many who were seeking that which is external or merely repeating what they heard, with a void behind their shell.  My simple desire was just to connect with the authentic nature of people – the God in them – and to enjoy the beauty of that Oneness through the unique gifts that God provided (for me) through others.

As these and many other questions continued to pierce, there was always something higher trying to emerge in me but I felt confined by the countless boxes I was put in, no matter how large or small.  With each attempt to blend in there was always an ongoing debate about the way to God.  Who was God?  What was God’s name?  What spiritual text was the truth?  What version most accurate?  What part of scripture is considered applicable today?  And then there was that fear in me, that if I actually stepped out on faith to follow my intuitive voice, that I’d be seen as a backslider, a sinner, or blasphemer.  Enough! – I told my friend.  What matters to me is that with each encounter, I leave the person standing before me, better than they came.  Given the pain of my own life adventures – my calling is simply to show up for another, and to show up fully.  To listen and hear what isn’t being said, and transform each moment into a miracle. To be the embodiment of Love, for God is Love.  My job is simply to bring God wherever I am.

I have continued to ask the questions of what I believe, but it is not a subject that any further requires debate – with me or with another.  My belief or religious affiliation, or the lack thereof, has little significance.  What matters is that I resonate with the Spirit that dwells within me, and that I tend to more important questions at hand.  What is my inner voice saying?  What does my ear hear?  What do my eyes see?  What do I seek to become?  What is trying to emerge?  And with a resounding silence, the answer is always Love.  

In wanting to find a name for my journey – Keep it simple – my friend said, in quoting the Dalai Lama.  Thus I add to my apathy that my journey is also a simple one.  There is nothing for me to figure out.  My belief is that I accept my call as did Christ, to make each moment a miracle.  The essence of my walk includes Love, Charter, and Integrity.  I make each moment a healing moment, or miracle, because I have the power to edify or destroy.  In choosing the former – through my words, thoughts, and actions – I remind others of their Godness.  I make the lame to walk, the deaf to hear, and the blind to see.  I point others to the Power within.  I can only do this because I have turned inward to see my own Power. 

To know about all that’s going on in the world without knowing thyself is a waste of time and energy.  When you know you, clearly and completely, then all truth is revealed and the borders and boundaries fall away.  I and the Father are one – said Christ – and when you see me, you see the Father.  Self Knowledge is merely the belief we form about ourselves, not what others tell us to believe.  We are what we ourselves believe.  To know God, is to Know ThySelf.

Grace